"一加一."

The following are my grades for General Certificate of Secondary Education:
A* - Chinese (In which I achieved in the year 2007.)
A* - French
A* - Science Core
A* - Science Additional
A - Maths
A - English Language
A - English Literature
A - History
A - Latin
A - Design Technology : Resistant Materials
B - Religious Education
And to be honest, I am not happy with my grades although they are the same as my sister's. Mine, with an added Chinese, which she did not take.

"因為愛你我可以若無其事."

You know, feeling a bit on the low side at the moment. I know why it is, but I'm leading myself into thinking much more than I really need to. I believe two months of doing nothing has given me a confused mind. All I do now is wake up in the morning only to go back to sleep in the night. And I still really need a heart to heart talk with someone, which leads me to my first problem... My 求救專線 is not replying. :'[

Second problem : I am really really really missing HIM. Don't know who I can invite out as an excuse to see him. Too afraid to invite him out alone. The only thing I have left is Facebook which really does not help at times.

Third problem : My new mobile, which I have owned for less than two months, has gone and died on me. It was such a beautiful phone. I reckon it is only the battery, but still, how cheap.

Fourth problem : Everyone is reminding me of GCSE Results Day which is on the 27th August. There really is no need, do people think that I don't have enough to worry about or enough stuff on my mind? People reckon that I'm super smart and totally unbeatable, however it is only I who knows the truth. They give me unwanted pressure thinking I will get impossibly high results and such, but I know I won't. And the truth is often depressing. I truly would like smooth As and A*s, but you know that is not possible. I have to follow after my older sister who did well. I can't stand it now. And I won't be able to stand it when everyone is disappointed.

Fifth problem : Still not completely over the fact that my rabbit has died. One month yesterday. Miss her so so much. She was an amazing friend. I won't ever forget her.

This is exactly why everyone should have their own angel. Everyone needs a little comfort when they are down...

"勇氣."

I realised I have not written in a long time, it may have been because I was on holiday for a month, or maybe it was because I was afraid to come here and see my posts about him. However, I am no longer the same person as I was a couple of months ago, I am new and improved with added 勇氣! I can also announce that my friend and him have broken up. Over this matter you cannot say that I am happy because I really am sorry for their short relationship. But whenever my friend is in need, I ensure you that I will always be there to listen.

I received a message from her during my holiday and it shocked me. She told me that if I still liked him that I should go ahead and pursue it. And I tell you now, I have no intentions on doing that. I will not chase after someone to get their heart. I know times have changed and it is perfectly normal for girls to do that nowadays, however I would feel rather embarrased if I asked him out and he rejected it. But my friend also told me that he said to her once that he can tell me things which he hasn't been able to tell anyone else. I would say that's a good enough start.



Anyway, I really believe that I need a TS moment. Stuff has happened and all I can do is pull out my own courage to face it. I want someone to share my unfortunate happenings with, preferably him. But I can conclude that the one month long holiday to Hong Kong, Japan and Taiwan has done me well overall. I look forward to seeing all my friends again.

"求救專線."

I really need to thank my friend who reminds me of Arron Yan, he is truly an amazing person who has made me feel a million times better than I did last night. Definitely my "求救專線."

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And *POKE* Haha, our neverending poke war will always symbolise our friendship.

"童話還不夠美好."

Heartbroken, yet I will not allow myself to break into a million pieces or to look back.
I know that I can get through this, holding myself together for as long as I need to.
I know that I can move on, because I must move on.

"你不是真正的快樂, 你的笑隻是你穿的保護色."

I have not written for quite a while now, because it's true that nothing particularly interesting has happened in my life. However, after yesterday, I have become deeply troubled and wished to share what has happened.

Yesterday was Sunday. Sunday is the day when I can hang out with my friends after our Chinese lesson. So, like normal, we went on some petit adventures and then people slowly drifted home. Ensuite, I was left with the other half of my "雙子星" again. I don't understand though, it felt to me like he was very lively and happy when we were among a group of people, but when it was only us two left, he expressed to me that he wasn't happy. This immediately hit me and the sadness spread to my heart too. I asked why he wasn't happy but he would just question me back with "Why should I be happy?" To be honest, I could not find an answer to this either, but I just know it's the way things should be. Finally, he thought it was money problems, something which I could not help with. He dropped me off just a little off from the station and said he was going to go and try to rid himself of the feeling of "crapness." So we both went our separate ways... Both holding the feeling of trouble. Later on in the evening, I texted him asking if he felt any better. But he replied, still, carrying a troubled feeling. However, he added that he realised that his trouble was not money wise. I am still troubled as to what he is feeling troubled about if it was not money.

Today, I really hope that he is feeling better. I also hope he knows that if he needs to talk to anyone, that I will always always be here as a listening person. And I would like to hear from him, even if it's only two words on a text: "I'm okay."

I can feel that in his world, it is always pouring down non-stop rain, even if for the slightest moments he puts up an umbrella to hide the rain. From now on, I will be able to see through the umbrella which he puts up.

I believe he is wanting to know "哪裡才會有離開的出口, 可是離開以後能往哪裡走..."

雙子星

天上的星星數不清　最亮的是你
不管有多遠我願意 放棄一切尋找你

我不需要 用時間為我證明 就可以肯定
你的快樂 傷心 我都能感應　我們就像雙子星.

Aww, I do feel happy at the moment and have since yesterday really. I was able to spend quality time with Mr Amazing. He has such an strong yet appealing character. I thought I wouldn't be able to see him yesterday, but it turned out that I spent more time than usual with him. I felt really safe and comfortable with him that even my problems drifted away. At first there was a whole bunch of us hanging out together, but as the day progressed into the evening, people started returning home or venturing elsewhere. And in the end, it was only us two 雙子星left together. I was given my first hug from him which was so warm, I didn't want to let go. Now I cannot stop myself from thinking about him. These two days have really been happy times for me. People always say that they wish time would stop at a particular moment forever and now I understand what they mean, because I felt exactly like that yesterday.

However, I do have some annoyance to express. I wish some particular person would just stop boasting about rubbish. I am totally sick of hearing some of the useless comments which come from his mouth. I wonder why he wonders why I could no longer put up with him... And I am very sure that I am not the only person who cannot bear to listen to him or even see him. Yesterday, when he turned up in front of my face, I could not help it but to run away. Arghhh, he has been one of the only annoying things about today and yesterday. Also, saying that he went into hospital, was partially blind for a few days, aced the Chinese exam, you know all that, I reckon he just b-craps his way through life. He has a blog too, but I don't believe he writes half of that stuff.

Tomorrow, I have an English Literature exam and a Latin Language exam. Wish me luck. I am very glad that after tomorrow, I have no more exams for the rest of the week and next week. (Y)