"해피, 해피, 해피버블."

First post of 2010! Wishing everyone an amazing year ahead.

I'm still in a good mood, which is very strange because I have to admit, at the end of last year, I did have a strong urge to completely give up because everything seemed to be going wrong. Also, I started showing symptons of chronic procrastination, something which I never thought I did beforehand. Therefore, I conclude that it is true what people say about A Levels : No one prepares you for it well enough, and the shock of everything being more difficult hits you in a very short time. But that was all 2009, I will put this and everything else which happened behind me, I would rather not think about last year anymore.

Christmas was good, New Year was okay, and I am happy to say, at the beginning of this year, here and now, I am a motivated person. :D And for this, I am really grateful towards a specific KC because he has helped me all the way through. He made me realise that I need to work for what I want, he has told me time and time again not to give up but to add oil. He gave up a large chunk of his time to help me change my Facebook password and will keep my account safe until Easter (when I hopefully will be sure that I am no longer failing any of my subjects.) I cannot express how much I must thank him. And I think this block of lyrics completely describes what he means to me at the moment:

"愛可以點亮整個世界, 透出了光線.
就像星星永遠伴著黑夜, 失去你就會失眠.
你總是陪在我的身邊, 夢不會熄滅.
擁有你我就擁有了一切, 去面對每個明天."
THANK YOU.

New Year brings New Hope.

Anyway, so I must again explain why I have chosen these particular Korean lyrics as the title for this post. "해피, 해피, 해피버블" says "Happy, Happy, Happy Bubble" which comes from an advert song sung by KyuHyun, DongHae and HanJiMin. It is good to describe how at the moment, I am a Happy Bubble. ^^ And also, I currently have a big obsession with KyuHyun from SuperJunior. He is so so amazing in every aspect. (L) Yes, so right now, not only am I working hard at improving my grades, I am also attempting to learn Korean! Wish me luck.

"Love in the Ice."

I'd say, this month has generally been AMAZING.
Title is a song name from DBSK which I'm quite in love with at the moment and it also describes really well the situation.

Friday 11th :
My 17th birthday. Seeing as it was a school day, of course I went to school. Was given cards and presents, the usual. But y'know, Friday's are a good school day, lessons are all fairly relaxing. TR made me a cake. (L)

Not only was it my birthday, the two week count-down to Christmas began!

Thursday 17th/Friday 18th :
It snowed! School was closed on Friday, which meant that we couldn't watch the Christmas Revue, but there's not much harm in a slightly early start to the Christmas holiday.

Sunday 20th :
My 17th birthday "party" which then had it's name changed to "Lobster Party." Most of the invited-ees did come. We took sticker photos and then sik fan. And one thing which added to the special-ness was that my 求救專線 actually came! I thought he wouldn't! My friends had ordered a surprise birthday cake for me which was gorgeous, and there's a present to come! Excited. ^^ Came home that day in the best mood. Still smiling when I think about it.

Tuesday 22nd :
Da been lo day at WHL's. Went out early in the morning to go and buy SL and WHL's birthday presents with the close crew. Then went supermarket-ing to buy food for the hotpot. Took the metro to the flat. The fun was just indescribable really, but trust me, it really was beaucoup de fun! I'd love to attend another one any day. :D Not to forget, slowly getting closer to KC. <3

Wednesday 23rd :
The snow and ice is still around. Sort of getting a bit annoying now. But it's true, we shouldn't moan, we don't get the chance to see it often.
Anyway, soon it will be Friday 25th December! There's so many presents under the tree waiting to be opened. And mum says that there's even more than last year! Also, although I said I would "刪除他, 勇敢一點" I still couldn't help but feel slightly happy that He got me a Christmas present. However, I need to stress that I really hope this string of feeling will go away soon, because I suspect that he's either not over what he had, or he has his eyes on someone else. I can't let myself get into a state again.

Finally, I must explain properly why I chose the title "Love in the Ice." It really does fit the situation at the moment. For the past week not only has it been snowy and icy, but my feeling of love has also grown, particularly for a special KC (even though I know that problems stand between us, I'm letting things go naturally.) My wish at the end of the year of 2009 is for someone special to come totally into my life in 2010, then maybe I will stop giving up with life so quickly...

"誰能體諒我的雨天?"

Just finished watching episode 8 of MoMo Love, so I'm a bit :'[ at the moment. Was also like that when I watched 很想和你在一起 and it was dead sad. But that might be because I love Ken. Ha.
Sort of a bit confused at the moment. 誰能體諒我的雨天? I want KC. (L)

Yes. So I was thinking, I only have about 7 hours left of being a sixteenager, which really doesn't feel real. What better is there to do with your last hours of being a certain age than blogging?

"Way to go."

There's not long until my birthday now, and I'm just feeling out of this world despite being in a state close to illness. :D I don't remember when the last time I felt so good was. It seems like there is rythm in my steps, which could possibly be because I'm under the influence of Korean music. But yeah, I'm happy.

My 求救專線 is actually such a jokes person. Never fails to make me laugh. I am really hoping that he does come to my birthday gathering. It would be an ever so lovely memory for me.

I have changed recently. I have found my aims for the next few years, and I have my fingers crossed that I'll meet them. I am working hard to meet them goals. You have to keep me in your prayers.

Really, really, really cannot wait until my birthday. 2o days left! Should be the best one yet. (Y)

"Press the reset, press press the reset."

Hello everyone. Long time no write now. Suddenly had a strong urge to come and write today.

Today, Friday 13th November, someone who I had not known personally, but local to my friends, my school and my area, had suddenly and sadly passed away. This brought me to the thought that this year has not been the most pleasant year since I remember. Many people have passed away, and not to forget, my dearest pet rabbit...

So, I was thinking, what if that suddenly happened to me one day without warning? Would there be someone who would make a Facebook remembrance group for me? And if so, who would it be? Who would be the one who cries everyday for the next few months? Who would be the one who misses me the most? Would anyone regret not telling me or asking me something? Would there have been anyone who wanted me to go? What would my parents do with all of my stuff?
There would be such a long list of questions which I would want to ask...

Anyway, there was something I came to announce: I have decided to be brave and end my feelings towards him. It is something which I'm sure I should have done a long time ago, but I had never been able to stop myself, and now I have plucked up that courage, that bravery, and I am pretty sure I will be able to get through it this time. He has really disappointed me recently making me wonder why I have been wasting my time like this. He is not Phoebum. So I have deleted him from my life. I will still talk to him if he ever talks to me, but I will not view him in the same light. Forever goodbye my friend.

RESET.

If I could turn back time...

[Written quite a while ago but I only decided to post this now.]

There would honestly be many things which I would like to change. And I admit this. I always see loads of people who write that they wouldn't change anything if they could turn back time. But I reckon that's a load of rubbish. I would definitely change some of the things in my life.

And at the moment, my number one regret : Becoming so attached to my 求救專線. I don't think things were meant to turn out this way. But like he said yesterday on Facebook Chat, it must be fate.


Number two regret : Being such a little old fashioned shy loser. I should have told him how I felt long ago instead of letting it all drift over. Now my feelings are scattered everywhere.

Number three regret : Not revising harder for my GCSE RE exams. I am really not happy with that B grade. Too much self confidence made me think I'd achieve what I aimed for, but I set out at a different level.

Number four regret : Spending such little time with my resting in peace pet rabbit. How does it feel to know that you'll never see her again?

Number five regret : Meeting that little gay boy loser. He actually thinks he's everything. It only takes a little reading of the stuff which he writes on his Facebook Notes or Statuses to make me think that my decision ages ago was the correct one. And the way his girlfriends never last more than two months must make him realise something. But what is shocking is that it doesn't! Even more than that, not only his girlfriends changing, but his crushes change with the months too, I swear! (Or from what I've heard anyway.) He just makes me so pissed off. I can't help it. Anyway, I will stop rambling about this idiot. He's not worth my time.

Number six regret : Giving up my place on the Consortium China trip! But this hardly matters anymore. Just a little bit annoying. I'll get over this one pretty quickly.

I guess these are my six greatest regrets at this moment of my life. I'm pretty sure that there's more which aren't bothering me now, and I'm also sure that more will crop up sooner or later. But that's it from me for now!

Updating the life of Lok Lok.

The educational year of 2009-2010 commenced a month and a few weeks ago. To be honest, it feels like I haven't had a summer holiday. Everything seems very normal, except I am now a sixth former. Teachers do indeed treat you differently, and so do the younger pupils. It's very strange not having to wear a set uniform which makes it extremely difficult to decide what to wear in the morning.



However, one thing which I look forward to every week is going to our consortium school for my Maths lessons. It actually has become the highlight of the week. I'm meeting many new cool people there and one surprising thing is that my Arron look-a-like now goes there. I couldn't believe it at first. Someone called my name in the corridor and I turned around to see him there. Actually do really love it at consortium.



I also, now have a year seven mentee, who I see every Monday to talk to her and share any problems she has or just generally make her feel welcome. She's actually really nice, says hello to me in the corridors and everything. Her friends are a bit creepy though. I never remember us being that loud and crazy in year seven.



The jump from GCSE to A-Level though, really has proved to be a difficulty, especially in French. I seem to be really frightened of the lessons because I think that everyone else's French is so much better than mine. I'd say Maths is quite a bit harder too, but I'm still able to hang on to what we're doing at the moment, might have to get a tutor when it gets harder though. The homework load is quite ridiculous. It doesn't actually seem that much, but when you get working on it, then BAM, you can never get it finished it seems.

I've been back to Chinese school for two weeks now. Tomorrow, the third week. Nothing much has changed, except that I only do one lesson now, which is quite late in the day, so I hardly get anything done of Sundays. My class has quite a few new people in it. And I'm not happy about sitting on the second row. It feels too forward... And I'd say, now that I can hardly talk to him, my feelings for him are dying down, which I don't know whether is good or bad.


Anyway, now that I have a job too on top of all of my school work, means that my free time is very limited. I haven't watched any of my beloved Taiwan series since school started! And that is saying something serious. I can hardly finish all of my work, let alone have time to do leisure activities!